A True history of Summer Camp: A Bed-ding time story.
Once, way back in the pre-historic days of sleep-away camp, the founders of all the camps got together to discuss what this whole summer camp thing was going to be about. They discussed campfires. They discussed crowded mess halls with questionable food. They discussed exactly how frigid their lake water should be. They discussed importing even more mosquitoes into their camps. And eventually they got around to the sleeping arrangements. Specifically, bunk mattresses.
And the Camp Leaders pronounced: 'We don’t want any of your standard sizes, or comfort! To make things as difficult as possible we will use a super thin, narrow, longish mattress, one that no company manufactures sheets to fit. Also: It will be somehow saggy, lumpy and too-hard all at once. We will slap it on to a slippery sheet of plywood and we will call it part of the camp experience.’
And for many, many, summer nights – all down the ages - campers fought with ill-fitted, tangled sheets and slept fitfully in awkward, lumpy positions. All in a desperate attempt to get some rest before going out to do battle with the mosquitoes, who had become huge and fearsome from feeding upon all of the previous campers who had been too tired to defend themselves.
Until one day Stone Peak shouted: ‘Enough! We will make bedding specifically for the summer camper, so that they may rest well and go forth to battle even more mosquitoes! And maybe they will even have enough energy left over to take an ice bath in the lake!’ And then Stone Peak went on to create cot-sized fitted sheet sets, and cot sized foam mattress toppers, and cozy comforters, and pillows specifically for all the summer campers.
And so, thanks to Stone Peak, there is no need for the modern day summer camper to struggle with scrambled bedsheets and lumpy mattresses. They can get a good nights rest and be ready to face another day of mutant mosquitoes.
That's my 100% accurate and legit history of summer Camp. And yet somehow, I would still very much like to be at camp right now. I would definitely bring an egg-crate foam though. (And a lot of bug spray). Till next time!
CC General Store.